What joyous tidings the BBC schedules bring! What felicitous bounty is this! A whole week of World Championship Darts! Daaaaarts!

Thus far, there is a disappointing paucity of mullets on show. The earring count, however, appears to be up on last year. Not merely the 'I am a heterosexual and I will destroy you if you suggest otherwise' ring in left ear, but more adventurous biploar piercing.

Daaaaaarts!