Hark! Hear the sound of lengthy adjectives being readied. Of withering scorn and gushing praise. Of similes. Always the similes (A sounds like B playing C fronted by D). Or A sounds like B. On speed (always on speed;provides extra rock 'n' roll cachet,implies author has personal experience of amphetamines). It can only mean one thing. There is music journalism afoot.

Gig Review: Tift Merritt, Whelan's, 29th November

They had the tables out in Whelan's; a sure sign ticket sales haven't been great. We took our seats, like the old people you see at gigs we're fast becoming. The support band walked on, to the kind of muted reception support bands usually get. More correctly it was a support duo, called The Have Nots. They were excellent. They played acoustic guitars and sang sweet, sad country duets (I like country music. IMPORTANT DISTINCTION: There are two kinds of country music: the horrible soulless crap that embodies all that is market-driven and, yes, evil, and the good stuff) . While they played some people talked at the bar, as people are wont to do during support sets. A woman in front of us was not impressed. Her method of conveying this to the talkers was to turn her head 90 degrees and frown through the dark at them. It didn't work. Then she got up and told them to shut up. They shut up. This part of the gig to was also notable for being the first time I have seen a performer bite a portion of his nail off on stage in full view of the audience ( I made that sound like they're always doing it secretly, didn't I?). All guitarists, even terrible ones like myself, know how cumbersome over-long nails can be. It had to be done, I suppose.

Tift (I know, I've never heard it before either) came out to polite applause and the odd restrained whoop. How to describe her music. Well, firstly, she's got a voice that's sweet but gritty too. Like honey on sandpaper. Or something. In fact, she has a voice like a seraph (see? I didn't say 'angel'. Thesauruses were a wonderful invention; I'll bet the dictionary people were bricking it when the Roget boys got in on the synonym game).

She plays gospel-influenced, folkish, countryish, sometimes quiet, sometimes loud songs. Good songs. At one point she unplugged her guitar and sang without amplification('to remove what's between us'. Nice touch) . Her voice really is stunning; perhaps the best live vocal I've ever heard. She remarked on how quiet the audience initially was. People were whooping after songs after a while (and during them by the end). That'll be the drink.

Tift played an encore. People cheered. Then we went home.